Spectrum LGBT Center

5 Tips For Coming Out of the Closet To Your Parents

5.) Breaking the Ice

Take some time to really think hard about how you’re going to want to start this conversation. This will probably be the toughest part, because taking that first step always feels the most provoking.. say something like “I have something that I need to tell you, because I’ve felt like I’ve had to keep it a total secret for the longest time. And I think I feel ready to talk to you about it now.” Or maybe you can try, “I’ve had this one thing on my mind for a pretty long time now that I don’t know how to talk about out loud.” One more could be “I have to talk to you about this thing that’s really important to me. It’s important to me that I’m always being honest with you.”

4.) Come out to your parents by explaining your sexual orientation.

There is no wrong or right fashion to say it in, so pick what feels most comfortable for you. Maybe try saying “I’m gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender. I’ve known this about myself for a pretty long time now.” Or you might try, “I think I might be this way, I am attracted to people of the same sex, and I honestly don’t know what to do about it.” OR maybe you can say  “I feel like I was born in the wrong body. I think I might feel more comfortable as a boy (or a girl), doing the types of things that they do.”

 3.) Explain your perspective in the moment to help your parents understand.

  The more you can do to help them understand you, the more effect it will have on your relationship. Say something like “This feels natural for me, just like it feels natural to you to be heterosexual. I’m not choosing to be this way; I just am.” or “It’s natural to me, but it seems unnatural do them right now because I’m a boy (or because I’m a girl.)”

2.) Explain to your parents why you never came out to them before now.

  This will be a big help in getting them to understand who you are. Tell them you were afraid that they would reject you” or say “our society is so homophobic, and I was afraid of how others might view me.” You can also tell them you were afraid that it would ruin your relationship, and that you value your relationship very much.

1.) Share with your parents how they can support you.

You will always have many other people to come out to throughout your life, and having your parents full support will help you do just that. Say that you would like it if you took the time to learn more about what it means to be gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender. And that you would love it if they would allow you to maybe tell your parents more about your friends and how important they are to you. When your parents are ready, they will support you, no matter what.

Watch these parents amazing reactions to their kids coming out to them!